Shattered [Ajax/Open to other Shinkansen]

She was dreaming, dreaming of a happier life, a life in which she had both eyes and not only one eye while the other one was covered in bandages. She was dreaming of her parents; parents that even if she didn’t know how they look like, she didn’t even know that her parents were part of the urakatas of this house and she saw them so many times, but she was never told anything about them. The parents she was dreaming of where made by her imagination, a beautiful mother that looked close to a princess and a father that had the same black hair and red eyes as her.

The dream soon ended as something was patting her cheek. It didn’t hurt at all, it was gentle; something that she didn’t feel in a long time. It wasn’t completely gentle but it was better than what she was usually receiving, the beating that bruised her body so much, there wasn’t spot on her body that you couldn’t see either pink or purple. Even if some time passed since she was beaten, the bruises were still visible, even some older ones. But the most visible thing to the man that was now holding her would be that her whole left eye is covered by a bandage.

She tried to wake up, slowly open the red eye she still had. Who was it? She didn’t know who was holding her; she wasn’t sure if it was her master, some other urakatas. She slowly reached with her hand on the man’s head; it was a simple pat to check for animal ears. Her arm was slowly moving towards the man’s head since she barely had energy left in her. It seems that cleaning the whole house drained her of the last bit of energy that she had. She couldn’t find the list that tells her what she has to do, maybe there was no list.

Since her vision was still blurry since she hit her head on her way down; it wasn’t a hit that would make her bleed, but it was still enough to make her see like she was in a mist and since she had only one eye it was harder for her to adapt. With a weak smile on her face and trying to sound cheerful she tried to give a warm welcome to the person that she thought it was her master. ”Welcome home….master.”

It seems that her master lifted her up, where did he want to take her? Did she do something bad? Did she lose her powers since this is the first time she had taken a fall? Until now something like that wasn’t possible, she could walk on anything as long as it holds her without losing her balance. When her master was holding parties, she was always the main attraction; her master was always giving her skin tight suits just like those at the circle and was giving her all kind of tasks in which the most important thing was that she has to hold her balance, and she always did a good job and was praised by all the guests, it made her happy.

She was placed on a chair, at first she was scared because when this usually happens she is punished. She thought there has to be a list since soon she would be punished, maybe he had to do something; maybe she was told directly by the master, what could it have been. As she was thinking at that she noticed that she wasn’t tied to the chair like it usually happens, she heard noises of doors being opened and closed. What was happening? She was so confused, but she still tried to remember what she had to do.

Her vision was slowly coming back, she could see more clearly now, and when she saw the unknown man in front of her she panicked. She jumped up and made a small bow, her hands clapped in front of her. She tried to sound happy and full of energy even if she was failing horribly at that. ”Excuse me mister, i didn’t know master had guests today…” She took her breath a bit so she can continue talking. That’s when she remembered what she was supposed to do, even if it wasn’t for today.

”You must be the one who bought…Uhh...” She looked around thinking, what was that thing called, the thing that her master said she sold it to one of his friends. ”Vir-Virginity?” That was the word that she was looking for, but there was only one problem with that. She had no clue what that could mean. She thought it would be polite to ask the man, so she won’t make him wait anymore. ”Sorry mister…but I don’t know what that is, so if you tell me I could bring it right away.” She looked down a bit sad knowing that she had something and that now she lost it. ”I never knew that master got me something…but it seems that he gave it away since I didn’t use it…”

She should keep a secret that she has that? But what was that virginity that her master sold to someone else and that this person told her to keep it hidden. She doesn’t know how it looks and when she got it from her master, or from whoever she got it. She wanted to see it, but maybe she shouldn’t ask right now from it since it seems that the stranger wanted to talk to her. She was pushed down again, but like before it was a gentle push, not like her master does it. She liked this version more, she wouldn’t mind if she would be pushed like this a whole day.

Her stomach was grumbling, making noises and telling her to accept the food that she was offered by the man, but he fear inside her didn’t let her do something like that. She feared that if she did something that wasn’t ordered by her master she would be punished, and she never enjoyed being punished. That’s why she looked down and started to play with her right ear while talking to the man. ”I can’t eat that…I am sorry but master didn’t order me to do it, and if I do something he doesn’t tell me to do I will get whipped or burned…or whatever the master wants to do to me.” Her voice was slowly getting sadder, the pain could be felt in her voice, thinking at those things her heart was stinging, but she managed to stop herself from crying.

But the next news broke her heart, she could keep herself from crying anymore and she was really worried. With tears falling down her cheeks, she ignored what the man said after that. Even if she was treated so worse by her master she still loved him since she gave her food, praised her when she did good things and gave her a roof under which she could sleep. She was grateful for all those things.

She mustered all the strength she could to get up and walk towards the man. ”It’s a lie…master is not dead…master can’t be dead…” She felt down on her knees looking at the tears that were falling on the floor. ”Master is just away…he will come back for sure.”

She was unsure what to do now; crying was not going to help her in her situation. Since she didn’t have a master anymore she was finally free? That could be the thing, or maybe she has to move to another master, because she wouldn’t know what she could do if she was free. She knew nothing about the outside world so she wasn’t sure at all if she could live by herself. No, she had to find a new master otherwise she would die, she can’t take care of herself, she needs someone to order her around and tell her what to do.

She wasn’t sure why she was crying so much, it could be that all he emotions that she kept closed inside her until now, all the times that she couldn’t cry, all these things decided to get out at the same time. She couldn’t help but wrap her arms around her savior, around the one who told her that she doesn’t have to wait anymore. Her hunger got the best of her as she wiped away her tear and reached for a pocky. Putting it in her mouth she started to nom the sweet stick, she would have wanted something else to eat, but since that was what he offered Shadow, then that would be what she eats right now.

Even if she was mostly distracted by eating the pocky and starting a new one right after, the fact that she doesn’t know what to do now was still up. Maybe she should ask the man, she already forgot the name he had. Should she ask him again or just call him mister like she did until now? The latter option sounded better since the man was a human and she was an urakatas, that’s why she had to show respect.

She could start simple; she got up and bowed in front of the man with a smile on her face and with her cheeks and eyes red from the amount of crying that she did prior to this bow. ”Thank you for telling me about master…But what do I do now...Without a master I will die.”